I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we're making bets on your personal life
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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