A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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