yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
