I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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