Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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