so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
