I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
