My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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