you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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