Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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