you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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