I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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