Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
