does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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