my mouth tastes like poor choices
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize