we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
