I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
