I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
