im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
