you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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