I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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