Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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