I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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