At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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