escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
