he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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