just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
