I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
