Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"