i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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