I am puke
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
