lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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