there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
