We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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