This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
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If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
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I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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