I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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