Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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