the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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