i just sent this text using only my big toe
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
