No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
