I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
