Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
