dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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