Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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