u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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