Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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