Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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