Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
