Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
