I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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