lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
