I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
