Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
