Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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