I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
