After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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