my room smells like sperm. sweet.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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