Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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