as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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