at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize